Abyss of College Completion

It has been awhile since I last wrote anything of value. Haven’t really found anything worth writing about, but as I start back to classes, the boring grind I find myself looking at the faces here. I wonder what dream are they chasing what makes them subject themselves to the horrible wretched conditions that one finds in your average college classroom. Inept teachers, deranged classmates, and unpayable amounts of debt just to name a few of the pitfalls that await anyone willing to strive for higher education. The teachers are the same as us most of them having sat in the same class, learned the same stuff, and now find themselves trying to teach the very same stuff so they can pay off their own debts. I think some of us get lost in the tunnel lose our way and stumble into a life we never could have dreamed of.

Just one more semester then the light will be barreling down upon me. What ever shall I do what shall I become, and how will I fill the hours. What will occupy my interest? All I know for sure is I don’t want to continue working where I am now. It is a mind numbing boring job without meaning its odd in a way I help bring new life into the world I’m surrounded by all these people who are happy and excited about the new babies being born. All I see is more stupid people to clog up the system people unfit to be parents, junkies, abusers, and just plain damn crazy people who shouldn’t be reproducing they shouldn’t even be let out of their basements. This depresses me it gives me the urge to run to get out before the hammer comes down, and I’m trapped in this place, but where to run where to setup shop call home? The few ideas I have seem fool hardy when I think of them out loud the more I think of them though the more this urge nags at me constantly screaming, “Get out run you bastards!!” as graduation nears it grow louder, bigger, and more damning. This world has changed barely anyone can find work so what makes me think I can just up, and follow the will of the great magnet.

Why, do I think I will be immune to the shit this world seems to constantly spew at you? All day these thoughts plague me keep me up at night that I may lose my job, be forced to move back in with one of my parents, or just kicked out on the streets. These things all haunt me yet I feel like I would be more haunted by never having jumped out there taken some punches, kept going, and finding whatever it is I’m searching for. So for now I shall wrestle with these thoughts, and try to remember what a wise friend once said, “ be like water and go with the path of least resistance” I shall heed this hippies words. I will flow with the stream for now hopefully it will dump me some where worthwhile, out where the real wind blows. Just remember they can only kill you once, buy the ticket ride the ride, and when the going gets weird the weird turn pro.

Photo courtesy of Ralph Steadman